Defenseless (David’s Song)

THE STORY

I’ve heard it said by one wiser than myself, “Sometimes God leads us into the dark because there are people there.”

The song, “Defenseless (David’s Song)” was written in the middle of some dark nights.

A dark night when the unsolicited tears streamed from my face as I hammered out the words, “Stronger than I have fallen/ But weaker than I have stood/ Yet sometimes in the battle/ I’ve doubted if I could.”

A dark night when I took some Bibles with me to the church and spent the night on a couch in a classroom — a Bible at my head and a Bible at my heart. And before I laid down to rest with the Bibles surrounding me I did word searches on the verse “You have covered my head in the day of battle” (Psalm 140:7). It was the only thing I could pray, the only words that would come to me.

A dark night when everything unreasonable seemed reasonable and the surrounding sounds of the saints seemed shattering and false and deceived. And the noise of the worshippers was too much for a battle-weary soldier and I tried to join in their praying but the only words that came to me as I tried to pray were “In the day of battle/ Cover my head/ When I am at my weakest/ Please stand in my stead/ Where the fight is the thickest/ And the ranks are thin/ Be my shield, surrounding me/ With songs of deliverance.”

And I kept hearing it said, “Above all taking the shield of faith” (Ephesians 6:16) and I wanted to say, “But what does one do when they don’t have what it takes to raise the shield of faith? What if all they can do is hunker down and hope to survive the blows?”

I felt inadequate to be in the fight — maybe a bit in the way, a liability to my comrades.

And I found it was quite alright that I couldn’t use my armor. In juxtaposition to Paul’s words in Ephesians, I found the Psalms thick with assurances and promises that God Himself would be a shield for me.

For me. The girl in the foxhole with her head between her knees, unable to pray, unable to believe the Words I read in front of me day after day.

I wrote the music as simply as I could — utilizing only four basic chords and a repetitive melody. I wrote it for someone as frightened and battle-weary as I was and the slightest movement or noise could scare them away. So I wrote it as a foxhole lullaby, with missiles and grenades flying overhead.

May it bring you peace.

THE SONG

Stronger than I have fallen
But weaker than I have stood
Yet sometimes in the battle
I’ve doubted if I could
My faith just flails and falters
My shield lays at my side
Courage all escapes me
And all that I can cry

Is in the day of battle
Cover my head
When I am at my weakest
Please stand in my stead
Where the fight is thickest
And the ranks are thin
Be my shield, surrounding me
With songs of deliverance
When I am defenseless

I remember Paul once said it
That above all we must take
To quench the darts of Satan
The conquering shield of faith
And I’m sure Paul had it right
But David fought as well
And the King who conquered Giants
Said of God Himself

In the day of battle
You covered my head
When I was at my weakest
You stood in my stead
Where the fight was thickest
And the ranks were thin
You were my shield, surrounding me
With songs of deliverance
When I was defenseless

Psalm 3:3; 28:7; 32:7; 33:20; 59:11; 84:9, 11; 91:4; 115:9, 10, 11; 119:114; 140:7; 144:2
Proverbs 30:5
Ephesians 6:16

Merilee BarnardJanuary 25, 20192 Comments